cuddle weather.

Because of my lazyness i wasn't attending my class since thursday, that's a real student!lol. and fortunately it's holiday till tuesday, so it's a long weekend for me. yay! :)) I'm loving the cold weather today. So..this is what i supposed to do during rainy days. yah right! Movie Marathon! :) i realized awhile ago, that i just stayed at my room the whole day. Just watched movies (and still watching) and had a 3 cups of coffee. So i guess no more sleep time for me. What a productive day!lol. (silly me!)

done watchin' those movies just for this day! :)

my 3rd cup of coffee. i just hate coffee! *sarcastically*

Waybackkk...

just bitch'n around with them. :) Partyin' is not really my thing, so this is my first and last night out with them.missing them tons! 

pouty'pout! ansabeee :p

I wish I had a place where I can crash to whenever I’m sad.

I just want a fantasy place where i can crash in whenever i'm down. A place far away from where i am now. A place where i can escape from reality. Only few people i want can come in and a place where i can call a ''Home''. Somehow I can relax and think about the good memories that have happened. Reflect on things I think I’ve done wrong. Reminiscing about the past. And remembering the sad things happened to me and realizing i've already moved on from it. I want a place where i can just sit and not caring about the real word and just the thought of having my own world.

till my heart aches end

 I know i' ve been posting random drama thingy lately,cause i know it's the only way i can lessen my bitterness. And i' m still hoping that one day, I'll read my blogs about him without the feeling of any bitterness and sadness anymore. hopefully! :D

Why I hate moving on

Because I’d delete everything that makes me remember him & even delete him as a FRIEND,


throw away things he gave me or keep it somewhere far,


then I’d deactivate my account so I don’t see news about him from his friends,

flirt with guys and look insanely hot as humanly possible,


then at night I’d cry in my room.. because I just wanted to show everyone that I’m okay even though I can’t still accept the truth that he left me, and that I’m still loving him so much. :( Fuck you, why can’t things be the same as it were before?

I know I won’t be able to get you back. I’m sad as fvck, but I promise you, I’m gonna be OKAY.

• pagod na ‘ko sa kakaemote
• pagod na ‘ko sa kakaiyak
• pagod na ‘ko sa pagiging apektado
• pagod na ‘kong masaktan
• pagod na ‘kong tiisin lahat ng sakit
• pagod na ‘kong magpanggap na masaya
• pagod na ‘ko ng kakahintay
• pagod na ‘kong umasa

maybe i'm not just tired. I'm sad. I'm sad of the fact that he don't care anymore. And accepting the reality that i am the only one who is affected by what happened between us. Everyday i'm fighting the urge to talk and text him,cause i can feel that i'm just disturbing him. And i hate the feeling when i constantly check my phone and hoping he have any message from me, but unfortunately,nothing. :((   People around me don't noticed any sadness from me. I can randomly smile and laugh. But seriously, it feels like i'm dying inside. Especially when seeing him everyday, and it's not the same anymore like we we're before.

I remember what happened yesterday, we're on a classroom waiting for the next class. And there are boys behind us playing heartbreaking songs on their phones. And then there's one song played that i can really relate, it seems like my heart has been ripped out. And one of my friend noticed my eyes turned teary, then suddenly i just burst out into tears. I really don't know why. But it feels like something inside me is aching. It made me really look pathetic. He don't have any idea how much it really hurts. I just realized that i should really moved on from everything, i think he don't deserve any tears from me. I don't know why i'm still hurting like this when i know that i'm the one who all started this. :| 

But i can say that i found the good in goodbye. God knows he’s not for me that’s why he left. I'm still hoping that time will come, i'm gonna be okay. and everything will be okay. :)

pumps, beybi!

just bought this black and white animal printed pumps awhile ago. i was looking for any animal printed shoe for along time but unfortunately no sizes available for me, so i have to ordered a smaller size pa. and after a long wait..yes. atlast! ;) and by the way..than kyou to my super girlfriend who accompany me to buy this. love her tons. :)

Tuesday..

when barbs and i bump with these another two awesome girls. aya and yves. me loves them. ♥  (please don't mind my crappy face here.)Q__Q

when yves asked us to eat. just somewhere near the school. i never thought na may kainan pla don.though it looks cheap.LOL

but the palabok is really masarap. yum!

while waiting for the next class

the awesome cedrick. he's really great in skirting. envy much! :|

SKIRTING

with groupmates and catering instructors.

One day far away from here. LOL

the view at the backside of my cousin's place. We went there cause of my lola's wake. btw. it's in indang. sa bulubundukin ng Indang. LOLLL.  I know you guys are not familiar with the place. It's very malayo from the city. Only few houses have internet connections. And just to mention.. no wi-fi area. OM! can't live here. Q__Q

ohw! look at that lame chicken. i dunno why i took a photo of it. i'm just maybe bored. nevermind! :p

cam-whoring again with her. alyssa( the bitch cousin of mine.)

my ''pa-cute'' pose. LOLLL

Dear heart, why him? :(

Well i know i may sound like i'm whining but i don't care.

I''ve been so tired with this redundant feelings that i always felt everyday. i really don't know how to explain this utter crap. I know its over. and my heart was almost shuttered into pieces. And what i did awhile ago makes me realize that I was such a fool. Loving him wasn't really my plan.And i never expected that i will love him like this, never even in my dreams. I'm really trying to get over with him,but how? when seeing him everyday just make me love him more. aww :((

it seems like everything i do and everything I see always reminds me of him. Even in a crowded place, its' like my eyes are searching for him.i told everyone that i'm not bitter anymore. but this sounds like one. I've been through alot on loving him,but he doesn't appreciate any of it.I really tried my best to understand everything about him, his busy lifestyle,everything! Especially the trust issues. I thought we can work this out, but  i just realize that it wasn't that easy. He's just not that really into me. 'I lost him once, and I think I can do it again. I don't have choice but i have to distance myself from him. I'm not a booty call any more. it makes me more look pathetic. Deym!

I'm not mad at him,I'm just hurt. And the fact that every time his name comes up

Or I see him, my heart sinks a little deeper each time. He don't realize what he made me go through

But I can guarantee that he can never do it again. *sigh*

Ow'em! this blog of mine is just so effin' pathetic. It seems like i'm weeping or something. I want myself to believed that somehow, he wasn't just really meant for me.

Life can be really cruel in a way that I can't explain. And I don't think if I can face some hindrances like this again. Haist! Enough said. T__T

Dear You,

Understand that when I say, “I’m trying to make this work.” it doesn’t mean “Things are going to work”. It doesn’t mean “I can fix everything”.
 
No, it means “I am fucking trying my hardest to make it work.”

I am trying, and trying, and trying some more. It’s just frustrating to know that my best is never good enough, and I can’t change that.

Gad! I'm tired of this. FML!

photo of the day :)

at the school hotel. while our other classmates are busy  doin' some stuffs. and here we are camera whoring. ;) ansabehhhh :P

guess who's on the back. errr! ♥

My future pre-nuptial photoshoot inspired. ♥

The Notebook is one of my favorite movie and i was surprised when i saw this pre-engagement photos inspired by the notebook.  I'm always dreaming to have a pre-nuptial photoshoot like this someday.  But i want it more vintage. :)

I'm a big fan of Rachel Mcadams and this is my favorite movie of her. I know it's luma na. But i really cant't get over with this movie. I love the plot and everything and the fact on how they make it sooo vintage. It's a story that is very rare to happen in a real life but possible. Especially when they died sleeping together.  Aww.very touching Q___Q When someone asked me before what's my favorite movie, and i said ''the notebook!'' and they was like "ganon? npaka predictable nman kasi nung story non eh!'' Yes. at first you can really predict the whole story, but the story was told in a different way or how the story tells how an ideal couple would be in a somewhat realistic society. And i just love it because of my deep connection to it. ♥

at Bobs cafe.super laughtrip. obviously! :)))

I thought i was already in Paris when i saw this colorful macaroons. yum! :)

I miss Bacolod

With ''sissy''. Yanie Dulinsky. My super closest friend in Bacolod. I suddenly missed Bacolod because of her.

:*

Tongue check :p

Yesss! She's a Ballerina. :)

          

at the bar with ces. that's during our first year second semester. I hate wednesdays at that time cause i seriously don't like wearing that corporate attire. *hassle pag nsa jeep men!

Coffee chilln'

with girlfreind. sorry for her not so good pouty lips. LOL :p

i'm craving for cinnamon swirl when i posted this. :|

Pajama night

with the sisters. .lys. and beh :p

the "this bitch!'' looks. haha

Miss him tons. :|

I miss his presence at school.  :| Especially when we have quizzes. Walang nagpapakopya saken. LOL. JK! :))

Paul Christian Marcial or Pauly which i prefer to call him is a friend of mine.
I hate it when someone call him pauly. 
I was like ''ow'em! only Iya call him 
 Pauly only Iya''.  hahah! and people was like ''ahy? ang arte teh!'' and we we're burst into laughter. LOL.
Anyways Pauly is one of my super friend when I entered my college years in NCST.  And sometimes i can feel that her boyfriend get jealous of me. Yah! it's t not a typo error. He has a boyfriend. LOL. It's a darkest secret of him but I posted here on my blog. haha. (watta mean friend of me! :DD)

I miss those times when everyone misinterprets us and ask me if he is my boyfriend. haha!  Unfortunately we separated ways when he stopped schooling for some family problems. :(

I love him eventhough at times he's so mean to me. :)) He's been a big part of my life even just for a short period of time of our friendship. I miss you Pauly! XOXO

Kiss me please Q__Q

me asking paris to kiss me, but she just staired at me. poor iya. T_T

my trying hard hairography shot.

When Vanity Strike us

ansabehhhhh

my so fave book. ''Why Worry?''

alyssa and me in my ''pacute'' fes. :3

Our busy-busyhan pose. LOL

Dragon Fruit

I was craving for something sweet this afternoon so I decided to walk through the refrigerator to look for any something sweets. And I found out this pink fruit inside the ref, it's Dragon fruit! yay. Actually, i'ts not that masarap and sweet but my mom told me that she bought it for me and I should eat it b'cause her friend told her that it is high in antioxidants which is needed by my body. LOL. :| ''kei 'ma!

The Switch

Our classes was cut at 4pm so we went at my friend’s (Yana) place and we decided to watch this movie ”The Switch” I don’t really like the plot but I’m really a big fan of Jennifer Anniston.Yah. She’s kinda old but she doesn’t look like her age. And she still maintains her fab and  glammy looks.
As I watched this, it made me dreamy of having a guy best friend like the two main casts.  I agree with Kassie in the movie that it is essential that guys have a sense of humor.

A day with Bff :)

Taken with her Eiffel Dre.

Yah! she's busy tweeting :p

While walking shot. That's why it's blurry :3

Our vintage tees ♥

When we bump with our another highschool friend, Bernadette. ;)