I know I won’t be able to get you back. I’m sad as fvck, but I promise you, I’m gonna be OKAY.

• pagod na ‘ko sa kakaemote
• pagod na ‘ko sa kakaiyak
• pagod na ‘ko sa pagiging apektado
• pagod na ‘kong masaktan
• pagod na ‘kong tiisin lahat ng sakit
• pagod na ‘kong magpanggap na masaya
• pagod na ‘ko ng kakahintay
• pagod na ‘kong umasa

maybe i'm not just tired. I'm sad. I'm sad of the fact that he don't care anymore. And accepting the reality that i am the only one who is affected by what happened between us. Everyday i'm fighting the urge to talk and text him,cause i can feel that i'm just disturbing him. And i hate the feeling when i constantly check my phone and hoping he have any message from me, but unfortunately,nothing. :((   People around me don't noticed any sadness from me. I can randomly smile and laugh. But seriously, it feels like i'm dying inside. Especially when seeing him everyday, and it's not the same anymore like we we're before.

I remember what happened yesterday, we're on a classroom waiting for the next class. And there are boys behind us playing heartbreaking songs on their phones. And then there's one song played that i can really relate, it seems like my heart has been ripped out. And one of my friend noticed my eyes turned teary, then suddenly i just burst out into tears. I really don't know why. But it feels like something inside me is aching. It made me really look pathetic. He don't have any idea how much it really hurts. I just realized that i should really moved on from everything, i think he don't deserve any tears from me. I don't know why i'm still hurting like this when i know that i'm the one who all started this. :| 

But i can say that i found the good in goodbye. God knows he’s not for me that’s why he left. I'm still hoping that time will come, i'm gonna be okay. and everything will be okay. :)