seriously?

I try so hard to not depress myself, but somehow, I always end up close to or in tears at the end of the day. I feel like the weight of the world is too great for me right now. There are too many thoughts racing through my mind. I just wish I could live in a place that chose everything for me: what I’m going to do for the rest of my life, who I would love, where I would end up. I’m so scared of ending up so screwed up and fucked over that I will never be happy. I feel like if someone would just say, “Iya, you are going to grow up to be a _________ and you will fall in love with ________ and live happily ever after in __________.” my life would be so much easier. All I would have to do is enjoy the present. I hate how nostalgic I can get, and I hate how much pressure society puts on kids to look and plan their future exactly.

I want to forever be able to look like a classy girl, but a badass chick.
I want to live in the most beautiful place I can find. Be it in a city, the suburbs, or the smallest town out there. I just want to be happy. Forever and always. Not the temporary little things that make anyone happy, I want to know what TRUE happiness feels like.