“Maybe I’m just a girl like any other”

I’m a girl just like any other. One who cries when she’s upset, and wishes to be held when she cries. A girl that laughs at stupid things, and wants others to laugh with her. Just a girl who tells you she loves you when she does, and wants to hear you say it back when you mean it..

childhooooooooood.

just saw an old photo of me and my childhood friend. catcat.  Then the day after tomorrow we met and it was unplanned. We haven't seen each other for the longest, the last time we met was 11 years ago, i guess. We had lots of kwentuhan, and we noticed that lots of changes happened. lots of evolution to us actually. haha!  So check out the old photo, i just got rid of my so vampire teeth, and cat cat, got her hair straight after her curly big hair, very kirara hair. *laugh. And good thing, her attitude doesn't change. she's still kind, very down to earth, sh'es simple yet she's so pretty. But i was shocked when she told me that she's 5 months pregnant, its a little sayang lang that she's graduating na from nursing. though she told me that she regret nothing,and the guy love her soo much, and i'm happy for her though. :) so cheers to that cat! \m/ :D

meet FRANCEska ♥

ow hi! so this is my friend's lovely cat.  not mine actually. She's so fluffeh,:))Francheska is her name but i prefer to call FRANCEska. hihi :">
 i don't know why i used the adjective lovely though she looks masungit. LOL.  I own a cat too, i named him france cause i thought she's a girl,  but people said france is a male, so i  made his name to francie nalng. corny lang. haha! anyways.. i dont like him much cause he's just a stray cat, and i find him annoying at times, he often bit my foot when he's starving. take note, ''bit'' instead of making kalmot. parang dog lang.lol. but he's sweet though. I'm not fond of cats before butI envy her (my friend) for having this cat, it seems like i want to take it home. seriously.  and i so love touchinh her fur. When i saw it i was like.. ''pwede bang iuwi ko na to?'' haha! so i'm planning to have one soon. hopefully :) 

In the future, I'll never leave you.

I’m with you now and that’s the way I want to keep it. I don’t care about all the other people out there, you’re the one I want and you’re the one I want in the future. Sure, there are people that are cuter, more nice, more fun, and even funnier, but like I said, you’re the one I want. So I’ll always have my heart dedicated to you. I’m never leaving you, not now, not later, and not in the future. So please don’t give up on us. ♥ -TUMBLR

TOKYO TOKYO madnessss!

two of the few i love to get wasted with. <3

lurve them bigtime.

anyarehhh?

He's everything ❤

Everything just happened accidentally. unexpected. but i know everything happened for so many reasons. they say when you meet the one you love you will understand why it didnt work out with anyone else.So there's this guy. who captured my heart. He's everything i'm asking for. What can i say, well.. he's the sweetest guy. everrr! he is..just soo.. amayyyyziiing! He exert lots of effort just to be with me and just to make me happy. i’m always having a blast. i just wish some dictionary word could describe how i feel towards him. i can remember vividly how i always feel everything i'm going to see him.
I just love everything about him. the way he extends his patience when i'm not in the mood, the way we argued over silly matters, the way he understands me and the love he is showing and giving me in every possible ways. So i thank God  for letting him in into my life. I consider myself lucky for having him. So what can i ask for? I don't have to ask for much because with him, i have everything. :)
I honestly didnt think we would make it at first. Sure things are hard, but he has proven to me and I have proven to myself, that I love him more than anything in the world. and that there is a reason why things didnt work out with everyone else.

Though there are lots of trials and hindrances in our relationship, I'm hoping that time will come everything will gonna be okay. Soon. ❤

this is killing me

Just had a huge fight with my mom. She’s basically telling me that I have a shitty life.

I know I’m not happy with my life, and I wish it could be different. But this is how it played out, and I can’t really stop from what’s going to happen.

But these thoughts going through my head are killing me a little everyday. I say I want a little break from life. But that can’t happen. T_T

My mind is my biggest fear

I hate this. I know I’m depressed, I know I need help, yet I can’t get this notion out of my head that I’m bothering someone every single time. I’m having a meltdown or episode because it’s the same damn thing every time. People can see me fine, that everything is fine. well not. it seems like i'm emotionally damaged and i don't know how to fix everything. And i guess no one knows what i'm going through right now. I'm trying to be strong but i don't know how. Even my mom seems trying to pull me down.

It's like i want to sleep and never wake up. but that sounds pathetic! And sometimes I wanna just disappear, just to see who would actually care , who would cry . I really want to , but I can't because I’m afraid of being forgotten…

I want to escape from everything, but maybe all i want is someone who'll be there for me no matter what.  The thing that scares me most, is that one day someone might not be there for me when something could happen. I’m too humble to ask for help, yet I need someone here.

It’s  getting really hard to survive the days and nights. :'(

the sweeetest :"> ♥

 i love watching the notebook over and over again bacause of their sweeeet moments. hihi! *insert kilig face here*

random Octowberrrrr

Paris and her side view pose

with some of Highschooool friends.  missing the old  times. sayang! we're so kulang. and BFF is not around :| 

we're maybe bad, but we're goood. anu raw? -_-

with the girlssssss

look who's texting back there. (nagsusumbong na!) Q____Q

\m/ \m/ \m/

bestest present :)

just got an awesome leopard print wedges for my birthday from this special guy. Sweeetest thing everrr. I saw it at the boutique before and i wasn't expecting that  he's going to buy it for me,  so when he hand me a paper bag thingy i was like.. "oh my ghad! para saken pala to! hahaha." *laugh He really know the things i looove and  never failed to make me smile. Thank you soo much. Love the present but most of all i love God's gift for me, and it's YOU ♥.

sweeetest thing...

People always think that when you sleep together, there’s always something that is happening in between the sheets and the bed. But let me tell you, It’s not always like that. The feeling of actually hugging each other until you fall asleep, the warmth of each other’s breath, and the total happiness in the morning when you wake up right beside them. Everything may sound so good to be true, but sometimes it takes a lot of responsibility and love to be able to be as wholesome as possible. Sleeping with your special someone is one of the most heartwarming experiences you’ll ever have. No nothing, simply hugging and smiling yourself to sleep.

true much!

"If someone really wanted you, they'd actually put some effort into trying to get your attention, and make sacrifices for you. They wouldn't just tell you they want you; they;d show you in every little way possible that they want you."

just another Sunday,,

goofin' with Jolo. <P.S he is my nephew :p

while browsing the photos, i just noticed that most of my photos has same whacky crappy faces. haha.  consistent! seriously, WTH is wrong with me? HAHA

with my favorite girl. everrrr :)

i don't wear make up lately so check out the face, paaaaaaaaale. T_T obviously..

"Money can't buy happiness." »

LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF MONEY CAN GET ME

A camera to take pictures with.

A computer so I can go on Blogging

Electricity and internet connection so I can go on Tumblr.

A phone to text people

Food.

Pretty clothes.

Shoesssss

Lotss of shoesss. ♥

If that isn’t happiness, then I must be depressed.

Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy the stuff that makes you happy!

Roses are red ♥

It's just so overwhelming to received a dozen of roses from a special guy. it made me feel like a real lady. *laugh. And it’s the first time, yah right, first time! :)) I dont know how to put my feelings into words, I'm just happy. Since the day I met him again, I haven’t been the same. My feelings I just can’t seem to tame. You know who you are. so here's to you..

Dear you, 
Thank you for everything. Thank you for making me feel special. You’re one of the kindest person I've ever met. and I consider myself lucky for having you in my life. :) you have a good heart which made me fall for you. And Yes. You’ve got me sprung. ♥

You really captured my heart with every effort you are showing me. You are very much appreciated. and i can assure you that everything and every good stuffs you’ve done to me will be all worth it. I don’t want to rush things cause I want everything to be a process. And I just want to cherish every moment when it comes to you. I don’t want you to be just another person who’ll just come and go in my life cause I wanted you to stay in purpose. We may not be together right now cause i know God has a better plan for us. But i‘m hoping someday, at the right place, right time, and right moment. You and me <3

Let’s just give it a shot! Like what you said. Haha. LOL.

 And just promise me that you will always be there standing right next to me.

I miss you and I’ll be seeing you soon ;)

Note to self,,

Everybody is going to hurt you. Everybody does, but that doesn’t mean that you need to leave all of them. It’s just for you to know who is worth the pain and who is not. Nobody is safe from getting hurt. One way or another, someone close to you is gonna break your heart, even if he/she doesn’t mean it.

Yana's day. Blasting at Laguna :)

it's yana's 69th birthday bash.. wait what? 69?seriously? haha! lol.jk. happy 23rd birthday yana dear. much love! :*

PEACE!

goofin' around with the kiddos :)

while waiting for others. tequila rose <3 wait.. so whats with the vFresh? -_-

best gay friends :)

tequila partey!

♥________________________♥

I Miss You Papa :(

Everyone loves their father and I am no exception from this. But, ask someone who has lost a parent as to what a difference it brings in life. To write about Papa is not tough. What tears my heart is to write about him in “past tense”.

We know that you have gone to a place where there’s neither pain nor suffering.But I know you are watching me always, wishing me well and I take great strength and inspiration from the fact that you will always be there for me no matter what. You will be there for me, as you have always been. I MISS YOU PAPA :(

getting used to rejection

getting rejected by someone and in anything sucks. The feeling of being rejected hurts,like yeah! some people reject other people without noticing it. I don't know how much more rejection i can take. But i think i'm getting used to it.
It happened so many times.. it just doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I guess this is God’s way of making me stronger. I’ve always been afraid of rejection whether it’s with people that I like, friends, groups,even at school … I think I’m able to handle rejection pretty easily now.. I mean, I still get upset but I don’t stay upset for too long anymore. I used to feel so lost and shut down after getting rejected.. but you know what? I know that the path I’ve decided to take will require me to have to go through many many rejections and I feel like I’ll have to be able to handle whatever comes my way. What I’ve realized is that sitting around, being upset because of a rejection, just proves to the person that rejected you that they made the right decision; all that moping around is just wasting time when you could really be improving yourself. So now, for me.. it’s going to be less sulking and more strength, acceptance, and improvement.And maybe that's part of every humans life. Life is a bitch, so learn to fvck it.

The rings.

just a few collection of my rings. <3

seriously?

I try so hard to not depress myself, but somehow, I always end up close to or in tears at the end of the day. I feel like the weight of the world is too great for me right now. There are too many thoughts racing through my mind. I just wish I could live in a place that chose everything for me: what I’m going to do for the rest of my life, who I would love, where I would end up. I’m so scared of ending up so screwed up and fucked over that I will never be happy. I feel like if someone would just say, “Iya, you are going to grow up to be a _________ and you will fall in love with ________ and live happily ever after in __________.” my life would be so much easier. All I would have to do is enjoy the present. I hate how nostalgic I can get, and I hate how much pressure society puts on kids to look and plan their future exactly.

I want to forever be able to look like a classy girl, but a badass chick.
I want to live in the most beautiful place I can find. Be it in a city, the suburbs, or the smallest town out there. I just want to be happy. Forever and always. Not the temporary little things that make anyone happy, I want to know what TRUE happiness feels like.

Just because it didn't happen doesn't mean it can't.

I hate it when people go like “oh that’s not going to happen ever, trust me, I know.” Like what the hell, there’s always a possibility so shut up.

PLAIN DRAMA!

HYPOPHRENIA- sometimes i can feel that this kind of feeling is lately happening to me. Maybe some of you guys don't know what it really mean.(free to google it!) Its happening to me specially when i'm alone. Often times when i'm on my self-pity mode. I know i'm definitely sad, but i really don't know the real reason was. And I would say that I kept on having this feeling over and over again.

Have you ever felt that way at one point of your time? I'm sure most of you have. It came, and it left, then it came again, messing up with my mind. I keep comparing myself/my life to others, get insecured all the time and some times, sulk about it which is not healthy (note to self).  Not healthy at all. I feel like life has taken me for granted, and there you go I blame life for this. 


And there goes a time were i missed myself. the old me.   not having what i want but contented and happy. so nostalgic. :|  *sigh

This is just a pure pointless nostalgic. I'm not making any sense here. sorry Q___Q

awesoooome wednesday ;)

spell HAPPINESS.lol. saya-saya nila!

thanks to jami for patiently removing my armpit hair. haha! jami! iloveyou bigtime. :)

it's awesome wednesday with awesome people. credits to Jonas for taking the photos. ;)

at Kidzworld. my phone just accidentally dropped on the pool beside me while posing. deym! i opened it and it's not working anymore. poor me! T_T

so this is cj. yana's lil' bro. i'm her tutor at that  night.haha!very smart and bubbly kiddo. love goofin' around with him :)

WEEKDAYS

no classes. non-stop kwentuhan. but why we look so bored here? LOLL

with my another sissy, Yves. Twas nice bumping into her that morning. so we took a  shots while waiting for the next class.

laboratory time. so that is our super chef. erold. the big one. LOL. good thing we're on he's group.  so petix nlang kme. haha!

we look like we're really good in cooking. but seriously we're not. *laugh*

so what can i say. it's still his consistent pose. very tyra B. LOLL. he hates to pose.like yeah!

Sometimes you have to make that decision about what is worth fighting for and what isn't worth fixing.

I really believe that not everything is worth fixing. There are things better left broken. In fact, broken things might result to something new.

Just a thought.

I’m really glad to have a Blog and twitter account. I express my everything here in my blog that I don’t normally say in personal. I am really the nicest and happiest person outside but deep inside I got some problems and issues that I am confused of and I find a hard time fixing myself. I explain how i feel using one liners in twitter and blog my heart out here.
The reason why I don’t share my problems with people is because first, it’s really awkward ‘cause I know they got issues of their own and I don’t want to add my shit up to them. Second, some people are just curious of what you’re going through and in fact, 90% of them don’t really care and they’re glad that they’re not the one experiencing your shit. I mean, I can do and solve this on my own. My blog account is always here to handle my shit. Every after I blog, I feel good. I know that it lifted some of the weights I am carrying.
Thank God they exists.

the corporate

i just realized that i really need to loss weight when i saw this photo :|

with gitrlfriend. nevermind the extra guy at the back. lollll

formal-formalan.

vendo endorser. haha! muntenge lang!